Around the Corner and Out of This World

Last month, I had the good fortune to spend a day each in Busch Gardens Europe and Kennywood Park.

Being the analytical thinker that I am, I realized that all of the adult rides in amusement parks can be put into one or more of the following categories:

1. Rides that make your head hurt.
2. Rides that make you dizzy or nauseated.
3. Rides that get you wet.
4. Rides that allow you to cop a feel.

My favorites are the category 4 rides, which allow you, via the cover of darkness or the laws of physics, to press parts of your body against your ride partner’s body in ways that are typically discouraged in a public place.

Unfortunately, since my pregnant wife cannot ride any amusement park rides, I had to stick with the rides in categories 1 through 3. It was fun, I guess, but I could have accomplished the same end result with a garden hose and a bottle of whiskey and saved myself $30.

Anyway, a family-friendly fun time was had by all, and the best news of all is that it will be at least another 11 months before we trudge off to another amusement park.

PS. One of my all-time favorite radio jingles is this old Kennywood commercial:

If…you…
Feel like riding, just climb in your car
The roller coaster capital is right where you are!
The Enterprise’ll rocket you around and around,
The Laser Loop is gonna take you up when you’re down,
The Log Jammer’s gonna drench you ’til you’re anything but dry,
The Thunderbolt will be a blast from outta the sky!

Kennywood Park, Kennywood Park
Around the corner and out of this world!

There was another verse (or version) that ended “You’ll love the food, the fun, the games, the sparkle and show!” If you know the rest of the lyrics, please add them to the comments.